“Staying Connected During Times of Stress - The Importance of Family Meetings”

We have been enjoying our family meetings for many years.  They strengthen our connection as a family and help each person communicate better - but they’re also great just for having fun together.  It has not been easy to be consistent with everyone’s changing schedules as my daughter’s have grown.  In our busy lives, we are rarely home at the same time.  Until now.  In this unique moment, we - and probably you- are all home a lot more. So it is the perfect time to introduce (or re-introduce) the family meeting. 

Each family is unique because each family member is unique, so be creative!  Draw on everyone’s strengths and talents to create the kind of meeting that’s effective for your particular family.  

Here are some tips to make your family meetings productive:  

#1:  Use your already scheduled meal time or some other special time when everyone is together.  Maybe have a special dessert on family meeting days to make these times fun and upbeat so that everyone will look forward to them.  Keep meetings brief, maybe 15-20 minutes once a week. Unplug and leave all devices in another room.  

#2:  Always start out on a positive note.  We usually begin by saying something we are grateful for, or we go around and give each family member a compliment.  You could have each person tell a funny story or talk about something good that happened over the past week.  Getting the meeting off to a positive start will bring about a general feeling of positivity and leave everyone open to new ideas.

#3:  Encourage everyone to attend, but keep expectations realistic.  You may want to have your meeting during a younger child’s nap time if you suspect they will be disruptive.  Children under 4 may not appreciate the meeting.  Teens may think they don’t want to attend, but encourage them to talk about that at the meeting.  This is a time to check in with each individual about how they are doing and what suggestions they may have.

#4:  Family meetings give kids a sense of control.  Children want to be involved in the household, and it is a great self-esteem booster when they are able to contribute to family activities and decisions.  They will learn great skills for later in life, like collaboration, listening and brainstorming.

#5:  Make your meeting purposeful and have topics to mix it up.  Here are a few:  what type of family do you want to be?  What are your family values, and what things are important to everyone in the family?  What activities would you like to do as a family, and how can everyone work together to plan them?  Discuss long and short term family goals and how to accomplish them.  Make a family vision board and hang it where you can see it during weekly meetings. Talk about chores, schedules, dinners, and what aspects of daily life each person is happy with or would like to change.  Discuss how to work together so that everyone feels heard and respected.  During times of stress, family meetings can be a safe place to discuss how everyone is feeling about the state of the world and what each person needs to feel better.

#6:  End each meeting the way you started:  on a positive note.  Share what you got out of the meeting and what your favorite part was.  Share one thing each of you commits to do over the next week to benefit the family.

Making family meetings a weekly event can be a great way to connect and feel close as a family.  And there is no better time to start than now.