“Seek Connection While Social Distancing”

Yesterday was a big day for our family.  In the midst of this world-wide coronavirus pandemic, our school district gave us some even more upsetting news.  Our children will not be returning to school for the rest of the year, plus the governor requests that we remain inside unless absolutely necessary.  This news brought on a slew of emotions for my kids and me.  While I am strangely not worried about getting this horrible virus that has us all in a panic, I am actually worried about the psychological repercussions of being stuck inside away from friends and family for the foreseeable future.  I already miss my friends, and I know my kids miss theirs.  I miss simple things like wandering around Target aimlessly or eating a meal out.  Instead, I enter stores with a purpose: get in, check the toilet paper aisle, get out, and stay away from people.  It is less than joyful.  I worry about feeling isolated and how my children will begin to feel being inside the house instead of doing sleepovers with friends, going to the park or attending after school activities.  

Typically, when afraid, people seek connection.  But instead of being able to comfort one another, we are being forced apart.  Being separated from our social support system feels lonely even for those of us who live with our families.  The threat of this virus makes it seem that others are a threat.  My daughter wants to see her friends but it would be irresponsible of me to allow her to socialize.  If we knew for certain when this would all end, it would be easier to manage, but there is no end date.  We cannot make plans for the future.  We cannot make plans to see our friends and it feels kind of dismal.

I heard on a podcast that loneliness is as bad for our physical health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.  Being away from others is damaging to us both physically and psychologically.  My biggest fear is the fallout from social distancing.  Could it actually shorten our lives, even though we are staying away from one another to keep each other healthy?  The isolation feels poisonous in itself.  

As a life coach, I am trained to help people see the positive.  I help my clients find the areas that they can control and focus on them.  Worrying about the uncertainties that we cannot control is pointless.  We need a solution that helps us to cope.  So, for me the solution is the very thing I have been trying to keep my kids away from:  technology.  

Technology is going to keep us connected.  It is our only hope for staying connected, our best shot at normalcy.  I have long been opposed to my children being on their phones and iPads, yet this is how I am staying connected, and this is how they will as well.  So, mamas, let them FaceTime till their heart is content.  Set up Zoom meetings for them to share their feelings and experiences with friends and family.  They need to connect.  Screens are now the best way for them to know they are not alone and that we are all in this together.  Encourage them to plug in.  Even if they just hang out with a friend while homeschooling in their separate homes, or watch a movie “together”, it is ok and even healthy to stay connected.   Until physical distancing ends and we can be close again physically, let them be together virtually.